Not too busy...

I work for a really good guy. He knows how important my family is to me and is pretty lenient with allowing me to take kids to doctors appointments, going to their school programs, etc. I even bring my four year old to work with me most days so I don't have to leave him at a daycare (which would emotionally kill me).

He does have a few faults though. He is notorious for using the word we. "We need to do this." or "We need to do that." He really means me. But for some reason he wont say "Will you do this?" or "Will you do that?" I don't know why is drives me crazy. But it does.

He also says "if you're not too busy." I hate that one too. Of course I am to0 busy. Last friday, I tried to make it to the bathroom 4 times before I finally gave up and realized I would have to wait until I got home from work. He owns three companies and I answer phones and do all the paperwork for all three. I carry three cell phones so when I am out of the office I can have phones transferred and not miss anything. Even when we are slow in the field, I am swamped in the office. I am always too busy.

On the upside, he is generous. I get to drop my kids off at school each morning and pick them up at the end of each day. I am able to help my husband pay the bills. And somehow, I am able to keep my sanity (not sure how, but I think I am still doing okay).

Anyway, I am obviously in a bit of a rut (I am sure you can tell by my last post) but I have vowed to find something positive to post this week. Stay tuned to see if I can change my attitude. It's up to me. Right?

The awful truth

Sometimes people ask me really stupid questions or make stupid comments and instead of giving them the brutal truth, I sugarcoat the answer.

Here are a few examples.

1. "Why don't you just change your formica countertops out for granite?"
My answer: "Oh we are waiting until we are able to renovate our entire kitchen all at once."
The answer in my head: "Are you an idiot? Don't you think if I had the money, I would?"

2. "Do you enjoy working?
My answer: "It's not so bad. I have a great boss and my hours aren't too bad."
The answer in my head: "Stupid, spoiled rich girl who has everything handed to you on a silver platter. Of course I don't enjoy working. It takes me away from my kids. I am tired all of the time. And it is so mundane. I want to volunteer in my kids classrooms. I want to exercise and take my youngest to the park. Go to lunch with friends and have a fabulous dinner ready when my husband comes home.

3. "I am so excited for spring break. My kids and I need some time off."
My answer: "I am so glad for you. It is nice to change your routine sometimes.
The answer in my head: "Time off? What's that? Working mom's don't get time off. They use their time off for things like school plays, doctor appointments and their children's sick days. When we are sick, we go to work so we dont use our "break time."

So I know I sound a little harsh. And I am the queen of putting my foot in my mouth, but this last week I have thought (quite a few times) does this person realize what they just said and who they said it to?

It's like the 135 pound girl saying to the 248 pound girl "I don't know what to do, I can't lose these last five pounds."

Sometimes as I am talking to people I think, "I would love to kick this person in the teeth right now." Then I realize, their reality is different then mine and I can't judge them for it.

It's just really hard sometimes.

Spring!

A few days ago I noticed this in my front flower bed:



A blossom! I was excited enough to run and grab my camera and capture the moment. I love spring. For me it's a time of renewal. A time of excitement for what's to come. It certainly means being outside more....in the warm sunshine. It's just a feel good time of year.

Tonight, I was going through some VHS tapes while cleaning out an entertainment center. I came across a few tapes with no titles on the tapes. So I popped them in the VCR to see if they were keepers or if they needed to be tossed. What a delight to watch my sons C and J when they were 2 and 1 years old respectively. I giggled to watch J bouncing in delight to Elmo's World and watched C gulping out of a sippy cup. Then I listened closely to their words "ba ba" and "dada" and "ye-wo", "gween", "bwue". And I just shook my head in amazement at how they've grown and changed in the 7 years since that video was taken. I remembered how difficult those days were. Those two children were only 15 months apart. They were busy, exhausting times. And then I reflected on the kind of boys that they are becoming, and I felt filled with a deep sense of pride. Sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in the daily rigamarole (is that a word? I seriously feel like I make things up!). The business of the daily routine....get them up, fed, off to school, clean while they're gone, run errands, they're back....snacks, homework, chores, dinner, baths and back into bed. And then you start all over again. But tonight I think I realized that Oliver & I are doing an okay job. I feel renewed. I feel like....spring!

You know you're a tired mom if you've....

Meredith has sent me many emails that are titled "You Know You're a Redneck If"..." and then the email would show a picture or tell a story of some completely hilarious action.

So yesterday, I woke up exhausted (big surprise). From the minute I rolled out of bed until the minute I got back in, I felt like I wasn't sure if I could make it one more step.

I figured I would take a few shortcuts (which would normally be a total no-no in my house) to help me through the day.

I started out by getting my kids dressed. I knew (because I could see the clean ones still sitting in the clean pile) that neither one of the two younger ones had changed their underwear but I pretended not to notice so I wouldn't have to battle with them.

During breakfast (again the two younger ones) they dumped their cereal down the sink without really touching it and I again pretended not to notice (once again, avoiding a battle).

Before we left the house, the oldest hit the youngest and I hid in the bathroom (with the lights out) until the crying stopped.

My mother in law watched the kids while I was at work (they were out of school yesterday) and when I was done with work, she said they could stay for a while. I went to a young women's meeting and then went home for a nap. When it was time to pick up the kids, I pretended like I wasn't feeling good so my husband would go pick them up. He knew what I was up to but let me play it out anyway.

And when it was time to clean up the kitchen for the night, I wiped everything off the bar onto the floor and invited the dog in for a cleanup party.

So for today, I feel totally rested, the kids have been bathed, teeth vigorously cleaned, the floor in the kitchen cleaned (over and over) and I am trying to let my husband rest (not really working with the kids around) to make up for my slacking yesterday and I thought of that phrase "You know you're a redneck if you've" and I thought "You know you're a tired mom if you've..." which I have. I admit it.

What about you? Have you ever?

SAHM

So today, I went to my kids school no less than 4 times. Once, to drop them off in the morning. I returned at 10am to pick up my daughter S, who had a fever and a tummy ache. Then I received another call at 2:45pm (kids get out at 3pm) that my 4 year old son J had had a, well, let's call it a blow out. Bad enough that the school nurse didn't want to put him on the bus. So I figured, no problem, I've got half an hour before the school buses pull up and the school is only 5 minutes away. I gather up E & S and off we go to pick up J. Until I pull out of our subdivision and realize that there's a train blocking the road, and it's stopped. No sweat. There's another street up the road that will get me there. So I speed over there. The train, which had been previously stopped, started moving right as I was ready to cross the tracks. Okay, so now it's moving, let me head back to the first street. As I pull back onto the first street, I have to rub my eyes, because now the train is moving in the opposite direction. Okaaaaayyy... Turns out there were two trains, stopped side by side, heading in opposite directions. Really? Right then? In that crucial 10 minute window I had to get to the school to pick up my poopy son? Fine. Well I got J, headed home to a bus waiting in front of the house. Whew. All was well. I got everyone in the house, bathed poopy boy, got everyone their snack, helped E to the bathroom (did I mention my 5 year old broke her arm last week? Yep. It's been a fun "helping my daughter wipe" week), got everyone their snack, and then settled down to read an article. At 3:55pm I remember, oops, my daughter N is at school for tutoring. And off I go to pick her up. So. The point of my post? It's not to bore you with mundane details of my life. It is to say: I am so, so grateful that I get to be a SAHM. And I get to be a stay at home mom with no strings attached. I know that not everyone has that luxury. My sister being one of them. I know for a fact that there is nothing she would love more than to throw her work cellphone (or two, or three) in the trash and never have to answer another call. That's not reality for her. I am grateful that when I have a sick child, I get to pick her up. When my child needs help with homework, I get to help him. When my child forgot his homework at home, I get to take it to him. And when my child gets to sing a solo in a school choir performance, I get to go. The only boss I answer to is my husband. (And sometimes my 5 year old daughter, when she wants lunch at Subway!) My life is good, and I am so, so grateful!

My challenge

I too, have been struggling with what to write. As things have happened this past week, I have thought "was that bloggable?" When I read Meredith's Valentine Day post I was touched because I too, have thanked my Father in Heaven many, many times for having such a great sister. But I have also thanked him many times for the great women in my life in general. Today, I dropped off my youngest with my mother-in-law where I know he will be hugged and kissed and loved. He will be taught good things and he will be treated well. I just received a phone call from a dear, dear friend A who was sad and it broke my heart because she has cheered me up so many times in the past. I am excited to go visiting teaching this next week, because inevitably, I come home feeling so uplifted from the women I visit. Don't get me wrong. I love a good man just as much as the next girl :-) But thank heavens Heavenly Father saw fit to surround me with such great women.

So my challenge today (for the seven people that hopefully read this blog) is find a women who has helped you become a better person and let her know how much you appreciate her. Call her, put a letter in the mail or take her some cookies. Do something to show your gratitude.

I promise, it will make you feel great.

Happy Valentines Day!

I've been tossing ideas around in my head for the past several days, for a blog post. Should I blog about the first time I met J & A, my two adopted sons? Should I blog about Thursday and Friday when school was cancelled because of a huge snowstorm (okay, keep in mind I live in Texas....not a huge snowstorm, but huge for us!) and how it threw my whole schedule off? A myriad of other thoughts filled my mind....until I read this. I think el dia del amor (day of love!) merits a trip to this blog to read the post from today. Man, sisterly love....can there be anything greater? Of course, it made me think of my own sister Meagan. The stories I could tell! Meagan and I have resolved to write a reality show someday. There are things that we have shared that no one else in this world could ever understand....not our spouses, nor our children, nor our parents, nor our brothers! I love when I'm talking to Meagan on the phone and one of us says "remember when....?" I just know I'll end up in tears....either tears from crying, or tears from laughing so hard (it's usually the latter). And so, today, on Valentines Day, I'll just say that I am so grateful that out of ALL of the females in this world, and out of ALL of the friends that I have, the ONE that Heavenly Father chose to give me as a sister...was Meagan.

Flat on my face

When I was in high school, we lived right next to a catholic school that had a great track. My friend K and I used to go over and run. One day, the school had left the hurdles up. I thought "this can't be that hard, " tried to hurdle and proceeded to fall flat on my face. I got up and thought "I almost made it," tried again and proceeded to fall flat on my face. Now I was irritated at myself. Really! It can't be that hard. But apparently it was. The third time I tried, not only did I fall flat on my face, but I also sprained my ankle.

That is how I feel today. Try, fall, get up, try again, fall, get up, try again, fall, get up.

And it's only 9 a.m.

The TV cameras couldn't capture the chaos.....

if they tried! People often joke with me that we should have our own TV show. You know, they've seen the Duggars, and Jon & Kate and I guess it just makes sense that a family with a bunch of kids should have a show. Usually, I just shrug it off and don't think much about it. But nights like tonight....(picture me, shaking my head back and forth). Let's see how well I can describe the scene. It's about 6:30pm which is our normal sit down and eat time. Several of the kids were already sitting down. I was busy in the kitchen getting kids served up. My daughter E was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, with her legs spread eagle singing, or perhaps humming, at the top of her lungs. She was completely unconscious of anyone else around her. My son J was chasing Cosmo (our new puppy) all around the house, and by chasing, picture a Cops top speed chase. J is super fast. But Cosmo is faster. It was the kind of chase that went from the living room, to the dining room, around the kitchen island, under the kitchen table, weaved through the stools at the kitchen counter, and back to the living room to start all over again. My daughter R (11) was yapping incessantly in my ear about how Obama cut NASA, and now how was she EVER going to become an astronaut! She continued with her monologue about how amazing space, and astronomy, and the solar system is. (All wonderful to hear...just the timing thing, you know?) Right about then Oliver got home from work, and seeing the J & Cosmo fiasco (now, seriously, most Dad's would holler at their sons about the chaos & not running in the house, and calming the dog down, etc....right?) he jumps right in the middle of it and starts kicking a tennis ball around for Cosmo to chase. Above the hullabaloo (is that even a word? I'm not sure.) I could make out my sons J & A arguing at the dinner table over whose 100th day of school cheerio necklace was whose. I can just bet you that there was saliva from at least 3 kids on that necklace. At that particular moment, I just stopped. Sometimes those kinds of moments send me over the edge. But tonight, I threw my head back and laughed one of the heartiest laughs that my belly has enjoyed in a long time. Tonight...I LOVED the chaos.

Right now, my kids favorite movie is Cheaper by the Dozen. They have watched it over and over and over again. They love Steve Martin's funny antics. They love the jokes by all the kids. They've taken to calling each other "FedEx" (if you've seen the movie, you'll get it....and if not, well...watch the movie!). And they all get a little serious when FedEx goes missing and the whole family pulls together to find him.

I guess, my point is, that even though I don't consider our family extraordinary, we are extraordinary in our own way. Every family is. Everyone has their own form of chaos, and their own moments that you just want to capture in your heart and hold onto for forever. I'm just grateful for my chaos. Who'd want it any other way? (okay, let's be honest....if we were rich and I could afford a cook, a housekeeper, and maybe even a live in nanny...I might want it that way!)

Good, Better, Best

I just returned from a session of Stake Conference where one of the speakers used a quote from Elder Dallan H. Oak's talk "Good, Better, Best." I love that talk. It is such a great reminder of what we need to be focusing on.

I often feel (like this week) that thing's are going pretty well. I had a great New Beginnings program with the young women this week, My husband and I have been very kind and helpful to each other, my kids seemed to be getting along well, we are planning a little family trip. Life is good. So just this afternoon, I was looking over my sons grades for the week and realized he is totally struggling with math concepts. This is a really bright child. I know this isn't that big of a deal, but it was a little reminder tonight during Stake Conference that even though things seem good, we can make them better and even aim for the best. In all my hurrying and worrying about making it to swim on time and not missing soccer practice and making sure we had the perfect potatoes for New Beginnings, I failed to focus on what is more important than any of those things.

The great thing is my son is forgiving. And my husband is great with math. He will be back on track in no time. But I need to remember to choose wisely.

On a side note - the potatoes were awesome!! So try this.

Cottage Potatoes
4 cups of mashed potatoes (boil and mash with no butter, salt, etc).
2 cups of cottage cheese
3/4 cup of sour cream.
2 Tablespoons of grated onion
1 and 1/2 tsp of salt
1 tsp of pepper

mix all ingredients together and bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

I am sure there are one hundred million calories in them, but I am telling you - they rock!!
(and can you imagine a little bacon mixed in)

Weekend's here!

I don't really have much to say today, but I did just find this really cool website: The Mormon Women Project

Check it out! I already nominated someone.....who would you nominate?

Out of the mouths of babe's...

Yesterday, sitting in sacrament, my 5 year old E plopped her Book of Mormon on my lap and commanded me: "READ IT!". Well, I was trying to listen to a talk and so I ignored her. So she began on her own "and it came to pass....". That caught my attention and as I looked down I realized that by chance, that particular page had at least 10 verses that started with "and it came to pass". Since E has started to read, I started to point out to her where it did actually say that. Her eyes got wide as she realized that what she had said out loud, was actually written on the page! So then, she started reciting: "and it came to pass....that I Nephi, said unto my father..." Now it was really getting fun. I flipped in the Book of Mormon to 1 Nephi 3:7 and got out my little red scripture marker and marked that verse for her in her scriptures. As I showed her the words that matched what she had said out loud, she giggled out loud with the most pure delight in the world. I think she was tickled pink at herself. And I sat back in wonder and amazement. Amazement that my 5 year old could recite a verse of scriptures. And I realized that there is power in repetition. And not just any repetition. There is power in repeating truth over and over and over again. And not just power. It is empowering to have truth become a part of you. There is beauty when you see a young child who knows what to do with a sacrament tray, because he has attended church with his parents from the time he was a baby. He observes the ritual of partaking of bread and water and imitates the behavior until he can understand for himself the significance of what he is doing. This small experience made me grateful for modern day prophets who teach us to hold family prayer, family scripture study, to attend church together on Sundays, and to hold weekly Family Home Evening. The prophets know that there is power in repetition. It empowers children when they know what to count on.

So fast...

Yesterday, my husband went to buy G (our oldest, who is ten) new soccer cleats. Normally, we don't buy new cleats in the middle of winter in Utah, but we are headed to a tournament in two weeks and realized his cleats from the fall don't fit anymore. He came home with a size 8 1/2 (mens). My 10 year old son officially has bigger feet than me. He gave me his slippers today because they no longer fit him. Where did the time go? On his birthday last summer, he said "mom, in 9 years, I will be on my mission". I realized then that my time left with him is less than the time I have had with him. A bittersweet realization. I am excited to know that he is excited to enter the world. I will be so sad to let him go.
Today we were asked what are greatest accomplishments in life have been. I have only three. But each of them are so amazing that I feel proud to know I have a part in teaching and caring and guiding. Tonight as we had family home evening I thought about what great things these kids will go on to do. What a great blessing it is to be a mom.

More patience, give me!!!

So after reading Meredith's post about doing homework with NINE children, I feel really dumb even saying this, but...

I HATE homework! I only have one child, but doing homework is like pulling teeth without Novocaine - seriously! Last night I sat down to help E. study for her math test because she was out sick this week and missed two math classes. By the end, I was so bugged I sent her to get PJ's on and go to bed - I couldn't even finish helping her study.

I went upstairs to talk to her after a few minutes, and she was lying in her bed SOBBING! I felt so horrible! We talked about the issue, and I apologized for being impatient with her. I explained that it was frustrating to me to have explained the same concepts so many times and to have her still not understand. She then said (still sobbing), "I'm sorry, Mommy! I don't know why I don't understand".

How sad is that?!?! My daughter had to apologize to me for not understanding math concepts? I felt like the biggest loser! Why do I lack patience - still - after being on this earth almost 40 stinking years?

I love my daughter so much, and my family is my life. We are happy, truly, and we love being with each other. I want to preserve that relationship forever, literally, and I feel so terrible when I lose my patience and when I am less-than-loving with my miracle child.

As Meredith has said, these moments make me think about my Heavenly Father, too. How sad he must be, watching us make the same mistakes over and over, never learning our lessons or learning them so slowly. He doesn't yell at us, or send us to bed without helping us; instead, he kindly, patiently, lovingly keeps teaching us the same lessons over and over.

I want to be like that someday! I want my daughter to feel that mercy and love from me in this life, too, so she can get a glimpse of how her Heavenly Parents feel about her.

Is it possible? I think it is! Like Meagan has said - WE WILL SUCCEED!

We Will Succeed

Today, I logged on to my bank account and was met with this slogan. "We will succeed." It caught my eye. (When you work full time, your a mom full time, a wife full time and have a full time calling in our church, you have to grab your motiviation where ever you can :-). It gave me a little hope. I get so frusterated sometimes with the different roles I play, feeling a little stretched thin, that I wonder if I am succeeding at anything. But in that instant I decided:

*I will succeed at my marriage, because there is nothing more important.
*I will succeed at raising my children. There is no other option. I have been trusted with great
spirits and I know they depend on me for guidance.
*I will succeed in my role at church, because it gives me great motivation with my first two
challenges.
*And I will succeed at my job. I am good at it. I have spent almost 16 years of my life in this
position. And on those days when things go right, I actually enjoy it.

So there you have it. I look around the world and think it would be so easy to give up or fail if I lived somewhere else. If I didn't have the family I have. If I didn't have the friends I have. But how can I give up, when I have the support I do. The mind I have. The home. The car. The food to eat and the clothes to wear.

I think back 14 years ago, when I moved to Utah. I came with nothing. I had no plan. My sister accepted me with open arms in her home. She bought my groceries. She gave me guidance. I remember lying in bed at night giggling with Meredith and Shanelle about the dumbest things. Then she moved out. I remember the night I came home after getting engaged. Shanelle was the first one to know. Life after that flew by. And here we are now. All married. All moms. All getting by and sometimes even excelling in life. I think we'll meet in the afterlife to compare notes (because that's the first chance we'll have time to do it). And we will realize how many of our struggles were truly part of "the plan."

But for now we will look ahead with hope and determination. We will not only get by. We will succeed!!

Teaching

So, for some strange reason our new puppy decided not to eat yesterday. In the business of getting 10 kids ready for church and out the door...I didn't think too much of it. Oliver mentioned it to me a few times that he didn't want to eat. He tried to feed him in several different locations. Nothing.



I didn't get worried until I had dropped the kids off at school, E off to preschool, and came home and noticed the full bowl of dog food. Hmmmn, thought I. Weird. So I called Cosmo over and showed him the food. He sniffed around. Walked away. I grabbed a handful and called him back. Held out my hand. He was RAVENOUS. Ate like there was no tomorrow. I picked up another handful and he began eating and I slowly moved my hand back to the bowl, dropped the food in, and waited. He sniffed, and walked away again. I scooped up some more, and BAM....hungry puppy gobbling down that food. Poor guy. So I sat there and fed that puppy, handful, by handful.

As I was just sitting here thinking about that experience, it made me think of my adopted children. They're not so much different from Cosmo right now. It's a difficult task to teach a child everything they need to do. And trust me when I tell you, it's far more difficult to RE-teach a child, because they learned things incorrectly. Because, let's face it, if no one teaches you how to eat, well....you use your hands. If no one teaches you how to speak correctly, you mimick whatever speech patterns surround you. If no one teaches you the proper way to take a shower, well.....you don't use soap, or shampoo, or deoderant (because there probably wasn't any in the house in the first place) and then you definitely don't dry off (probably because there was no towel either)....you just get dressed. And so you must start from the beginning, and realize that even if you're looking at a child who is 4, or 7, or 10....really, you're teaching a toddler. It's humbling. It's frustrating. It's rewarding.

And then, as I thought about my children, I thought about my Heavenly Father. I wonder if He ever feels towards me, like I feel towards my children. He's constantly teaching me, training me, giving me experiences to become more like him. Do I resist Him, as my children resist me? Do I test His patience, as my children test mine? I am so grateful for His patience with me.

I feel a bit like I'm in my daughter's 5th grade language arts class:

Cosmo is to Meredith, as Meredith is to Heavenly Father.....

hungry, being nourished one handful at a time.

Good friends

I live in a great neighborhood. In my neighborhood are some of the greatest ladies you will ever meet. Yesterday, I got together with a group of women and did "freezer meals". It took most of the day and when I realized it was time to pick up the kids from school I was up to my elbows in honey and soy sauce. I called one of these great ladies and asked her to pick up the children. Of course she would.

Last night I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch as I was waiting to go get G from soccer practice. I woke at 9 ( a half hour after it was over) letting me know that G was on his way home with his coach. Coach's wife is another one of these great ladies.

Today, after a soccer game G went over to yet another great ladies home where he played and ate and laughed. He walked in the door and said "It was a blast."

Now it may sound like I am a loser mom. I'm not. I do my fair share of carpooling, hosting and whatever else comes along with being a parent. I don't think a day goes by that I don't have an "extra" child in my car at some point or another. But I am so grateful to have these amazing women in my life. I know I can trust my children with any of the three of them at any time.

You always hear it takes a village to raise a family. I think it's true. With all the running we have to do these days it is so nice to join forces or sometimes divide and conquer. Sometimes I feel like I am in a battle trying to protect my kids from some of the bad that is out there. It is so great to know there are "safe harbors" so close to home. A, L and S have helped me to learn to trust and depend on people. I am truly blessed to have such great friends.

A package of hot dogs & some applesauce...

I'm grateful I had these things in my fridge & my pantry tonight....cuz that's what the kids ate for dinner. I tossed them some chips & salsa too....that counts for veggies, right?

Thursdays. They're a long day for me. Granted, it's almost to Friday, which is, quite frankly, my favorite afternoon/evening of the week. Carefree, no homework, fun dinner & a movie....that's our Friday night tradition. No chores on Friday's. Life is good. But Thursdays. Well, it's my turn to teach seminary on Thursday mornings. (Early start) And homeworks takes a r.e.a.l.l.y. long time on Thursdays. (Late finish) Let me tell you why.

Another day I'll share the story of how we settled on adopting from foster care, once we made the decision to adopt. As part of the process of applying to be an adoptive parent (at least in the great state of Texas...) one fills out very specific paperwork. A certain section of the paperwork includes what you're willing to accept in a child. For example, can you take a child with physical disabilities? Can you take a child that is HIV positive? Will you take a child that has been sexually abused? Will you take a child with severe emotional disabilities? The list goes on and on. Well, I won't bore you with all of the details, but as one peruses children available for adoption, they list several categories: Developmental, Emotional, Physical & Medical Special Needs. And then they rate each category by: None, Mild, Moderate and Severe. You can go here for an example if you're curious. As we read through scores of descriptions, we decided to keep our level at None or Mild. More on that later. Now, quite honestly, I don't see how ANY child in Foster Care can be listed as None in any category. I mean, seriously. These kids have, for one reason or another, been removed from their BIRTH family. They've lost family, friends, familiarity. They've moved from home to home and school to school. Trust you me, even the most angelic child is now a special needs child. That having been said....when something is right, it's right and you do it. No matter how hard. No matter the sacrifice involved.

Fast forward to that day that we're sitting in a caseworker's office in San Antonio, seeing pictures of our two boys for the first time. As the caseworker describes J & A....we just knew. It was right. They were ours. At that point, you could have told me they were absolute monsters....and, too late. We were smitten. They were ours. Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, when we took them home and discovered that, um....they couldn't talk. Um....their speech was MAJORLY delayed. So much so that A had already been diagnosed in the 1 percentile for intellect and had qualified for full services through the school district. What?!?!?!? (I will tell you 2 full years later that the boy is ONLY delayed in speech....nothing else. He's perfectly fine) J was soon enrolled in ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) and receiving speech therapy as well.

Fast forward to the day we're reading the CPS (Child Protective Services) files on our 4 girls. B has been diagnosed with dyslexia and a learning disability. Okay. I think we can handle that. We take on the 4 girls. Last school year, towards the end of 1st grade, I start noticing that S has similar patterns in her work & her reading as B. As she began 2nd grade, her grades took a dive. The work became intense. Lucky for me, S has an AWESOME attitude. She's a hard worker. What takes her brother J (also in 2nd grade) 10 minutes, takes her more than an hour.

I gave a shout for joy last week as S was FINALLY officially diagnosed with dyslexia! She also will receive the services she needs, learn the tools she needs to survive.

One final fast forward to my Thursday afternoon. I have 9 children in school. 6 are of age to have science tests, math quizzes, spelling tests,and their weekly homework packets due on Friday. So I now have two daughters with dyslexia, 1 daughter with no learning disabilities but a major attitude (this takes a LOT longer to deal with than dyslexia, let me tell you), 1 son who is super intelligent but super energetic and therefore difficult to channel his energy into his homework & studying, and 2 others who I must say....at this point in my life....feel like true Godsends. I put on my tutor/teacher/lion tamer hat from 3:30 to 7:00pm. It's intense....

But I have to admit.

When N's grades have gone from 30's and 40's one year ago....to 80's and 90's now...I take pride in that.

When S can get 14 out of 15 spelling words right...you know we do a high five.

When B realizes she really can read books that are on a 4th & 5th grade level, instead of a 1st grade level...well...that there is tangible progress.

And when my other children are able to get on the A honor roll....virtually without help from Mom.....well, I get emotional. They've been blessed with God-given talents that they are multiplying instead of burying.

Thursday is done. Welcome Friday!

There ARE miracles....

If this doesn't make you cry....I don't know what will! Click here to see a success story out of Haiti. My dear friend from France just posted on today on facebook about translating yesterday for more than 10 hours for this very group of orphans. Beautiful & bravo!

Random thoughts...

For the past couple of months, I have been reading a series called "The Great and Terrible" by Chris Stewart. It begins in the premortal existence where the war in heaven takes place. It continues through the ages and ends in book 6 just before the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

Needless to say, it has been VERY thought-provoking. These books, along with recent international events, have made me realize just how tough Earth life can be. Also, sometimes life has to be tough to teach us the lessons we came here to learn so that we can be worthy to live in God's presence again someday.

I have learned that Satan and his followers desperately want us to fail, so they will discourage us, goad us, work on our prideful natures, and basically try to keep us from any progress or happiness we may find.

The best news of all is that we are stronger than them! We truly are. If only we would recognize that when temptations come so that we could run from evil, rather than inviting it in. If we have even a small chink in our armor, evil will be sitting on the edge, leaning in for a spot inside.

I am so grateful for all of the blessings I have been given - a beautiful family, a home in a safe neighborhood, food, clothing, shelter, freedom in my country, and the Gospel of Jesus Christ that teaches me who I am, where I came from, and where I need to be after this life is over. Where would I be without that knowledge?

LIFE IS GOOD, even when it's hard.

I, too, have a dream....

I am truly inspired by men like Martin Luther King, Jr. I love visionaries who make a difference in this world. I sometimes wish that I had more power than I do...to make changes for good in this world. If I could make a difference, there would be no more of this or this (just click on search at the bottom). What kind of a difference would you make?

Gratitude

I was sitting at my mother-in-law's computer this afternoon and on her notepad it said "Enjoy the Journey." I found out this quote is by President Monson. What a wise man. Since my last post, I really tried to enjoy my week.

Today, I was at my in-laws for dinner. My husband is starting a project at the Salt Lake Temple tonight (well technically tomorrow). Every year it shuts down for two weeks for cleaning, renovations, up grades, etc. and so he will begin at 12:01 Monday morning. Anyway, he opted to stay home and get a little sleep before he has to leave for the office so I went up to his parent's home with the kids. Every month we get together for dinner and celebrate any birthdays or big events that are happening that month.

When the door was opened we were greeted by big hugs and smiles. Nana and Papa had dinner just about done and as we waited for siblings to arrive Pap showed us the rocks he had in his rock tumbler. My daughter and Papa share a love of rocks. When everyone arrived, we prayed, ate, played games, talked, encouraged each other, discussed future plans, celebrated a birthday and just enjoyed each other. As all the kids ran around, I realized how blessed I am to have in laws that not only do I truly love, but I really enjoy. We have fun together. We love each other. We love each others children. It feels very safe there. I know whenever I am in that home that I will hear good things, see good things and learn good things.

I have a sister-in-law who my children are especially attached to. She's the favorite aunt. I can only say that because everyone knows it. It holds true for each of the nieces and nephews. When I had my youngest child, we were living in that home. My in-laws were on a mission for our church and so we were able to live in their basement while this aunt lived upstairs. What a blessing in disguise that was. I've said it before and I'll say it a gain. My youngest is a wild child and has had a little extra sass in him from the day he was born. Somehow, whenever I was at the brink of losing it (which was about once a day). K would come in with perfect timing and take him from me. She has perfect patience and would always be able to calm him down and have him asleep by the time I regained my sanity. Tonight, she had the kids stay over so I can go in to work.

Usually, I worry. About everything. This time on Sunday nights after the kids are in bed and I am starting to think about the week I start to panic about all that is to come. But tonight, I am going to enjoy some quiet time. Enjoy the fact that my kids are in a safe place with people who love them possibly as much as I do. Enjoy that my husband and I have jobs and a home, clothes to wear and food to eat. I am going to enjoy the knowledge that when things go wrong (as they inevitably do), I have a great support system. What more can I ask for?

And anyway, there's always time to panic tomorrow.

Rediscover

After lots of thinking about "moderation" and "enjoy", I came up with this word for me: Rediscover. Now what in the heck, ye say, does this word mean for me? Well, if I were to chronicle my life thus far, I think I would divide it into the following categories:
childhood

coming of age (which for me would include high school graduation, junior college, and preparation time for serving my mission. More on that later.)

mission (to the great Massachusetts Boston Mission...Spanish speaking)

college (Go Cougars!)

marriage (to my Caribbean Man)

children (4+2+4)

And that would bring me to my present phase of life. 9 out of 10 kids are in school. My last child will begin kindergarten in the fall. And I find myself contemplating who I am. Me. Meredith. A huge part of my identity for the past 12 years has been my spouse and my children. It's who I am, it's what I do. And I love what I do. But as the toddler years of my children fade away and I've started to experience the last round of potty training, the last year of preschool, no more children sleeping in my room, etc., I have realized that it's time for me to rediscover. Granted, a big chunk of my time will still be devoted to the obvious: cleaning house, doing laundry, grocery shopping, meal preparation, homework helper, field trip attender, volunteer at school, etc. But I also know, I will have "free" time. Will I garden? Will I read? Will I exercise? Will I take a class? Will I serve more? What I do this year, may differ from what I do next year. And the year after that. But this year, I plan to rediscover who I am.

Now, on a different topic, here's what I spent about 3-4 hours doing yesterday:
(because as you all know, when you're a Mom, you never do anything uninterrupted....so sometimes it can be tough to know how much time you spend on a particular task.)



I often get jokes and questions about the amount of laundry I do. Yesterday's task was simply separating! Here's my system: I wash clothes every day. Well, except Sunday. Unless there's the occasional accident, or throw-up that needs to be cleaned up. And I just take the clothes from the dryer, put 'em in a basket, and put 'em in my room. Then on Wednesday & Saturday, I go through and separate the clothes. The 6 older kids put their own clothes away. And I (or sometimes one of my older daughters) puts the 4 little kids clothes away. Works for us.

However, meet my nemesis. My arch nemesis. (I just love that phrase) The Sock Basket!



Imagine, if you will, 12 people with 2 feet each. Add about 5 of my children who will wear more than one pair of socks a day, just because. That's 34 socks a day. That's 238 socks a week. I tire of socks. They rarely get folded and put away. The kids just know to go get their socks out of The Sock Basket. On the rare occasion that I do fold them, I get really irritated by the stray socks left in the bottom of The Sock Basket. Because there are usually, like 20 socks. How hard is it to put both socks in the dirty clothes at the same time? Seriously, just don't even get me started.

And on a final topic: Haiti. You, like me, have probably watched interviews, seen pictures, and wondered at the destruction and loss of life that has taken place. Ever since I was a little kid, I remember feeling my heart wrenched over natural disasters. Mostly feeling pain for children who remain orphans after such an event. And one wonders: what can I do?

This is where I feel so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I love that on our tithing slip, we can donate to the "Humanitarian Fund". Our church is almost always one of the first to respond to natural disasters. And I know that by contributing my small part, I am a part of that response. Check here and here to learn more about that. Because I served a spanish speaking mission in Boston, I got to walk in parts of town that otherwise I probably wouldn't have. And I met people of all walks of life. There is a large Haitian-Creole population in Boston. Wonderful, humble, delightful people. I pray that recovery will be swift.

You did what?!!!

Meredith's post about her spiritual experience at the hospital when having her last child prompted me to think about when my youngest was born. The week prior to his birth I had passed out. Not sure why. My husband found me lying flat (well as flat as possible when you are eight months pregnant) on my stomach. I felt OK after but he insisted I go to the hospital where they found nothing wrong and sent me home. The following week they had me come in to have a non stress test done on the baby. Monday's test seemed fine and so did Tuesday's but on Wednesday something was wrong. My doctor came downstairs and told me he thought it best to take the baby right away.

Now, if you know me, I am a planner. I like to know what, who, when, how much and then tell me all of that info again. I had planned on having C on a Friday at 5:00 (via C-section). I would then be able to return home on Monday evening and resume normal activities by Tuesday.

Anyway, this really threw me. I told my doctor I had to get a few things done. He said to go home, rest, pack a bag and return when I had my other two kids taken care of. Instead, I ran back to the office, completed payroll, made a few calls, went home and cleaned house (my in-laws where coming home for Christmas and we were living in their basement). My husband finally got home from school and was able to get the kids taken care of. I called my boss, who was out of town, and assured him this wouldn't be a problem. It was almost Christmas and so things were quiet and work and the secretary would be able to handle things for a bit.

Luckily, everything went well. I had an easy C-section. C was healthy and although he seemed tiny (5 lbs 12 oz) I was told that was a great size for being 4 weeks early. We were able to go home after 48 hours (not a big fan of hospitals) and be there in time to celebrate Christmas Eve and Christmas with the family. The only hitch was my secretary quit that weekend and with my boss being out of town, I has to return to the office on Monday to take care of a few things.

On my follow up visit my doctor asked me what took me so long to get back to the hospital and when I told him, he looked at me like I was crazy and said "You did what?"

Which brings me to Shanelle's question of what would my word be? I think I would choose enjoy. I feel like I am always running and always falling behind. I am always so worried about what is coming next, I forget to enjoy the now. I can't tell you exactly what was wrong with C to have to have him early. But I can tell you that day, payroll was done faster than I have ever done it before. I want to enjoy my life. My husband, children and friends. My relationship with the Savior. I want to stop worrying and just enjoy.

And in regards to never ironing again. Ironing (and folding laundry) is the only time I have an excuse to turn the TV on and become a recluse for an hour. So for the time being, we shall have wrinkle free clothes!

There is a quote on my friends wall "Enjoy the journey." That is my resolution.

Hot potato, Hot potato!

Any Wiggles fans out there? Then you'll recognize the song. Today I close out my day with a story that some day I'm sure I'll look back and laugh at. Today has been one of those days. (I'll spare you the details.) It was around 7:15pm, and I had just finished serving dinner to my kids. (Did I mention I have 10 of them?) No wait, actually just to 9 because my daughter N was in the gameroom crying over homework. Hubby was working late tonight, which left me to fend for myself. Most of the kids were done eating, and on their way upstairs to take a shower and get ready for bed. I was feeling a bit exhausted myself. I've been up since 5am, since hubby & I teach seminary. (Did I say NO details?...) I had to pick up little J early from school because he had the runs today, poor guy. And I'm thinking....I'm in the home stretch. 45 more minutes until bedtime. I'm gonna make it!

I reached into the oven to pull out the last baked potato and turn off the oven, when POP! It totally exploded into a million pieces of 400 degree baked potato! And it landed e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. In my hair, singeing (or maybe melting...) my eyelashes, and burning my bosom (literally) as I tried to not flash my sons but get that hot potato OUT of my shirt. And then I turned around and saw this:




And this:




And I realized that my day was far from over. The pictures don't do it justice. Truly. There were pieces of potato everywhere. Tiny. Smeary. All I can say is Clorox Wipes! I could seriously do a commercial for Clorox Wipes. Maybe they'd give me a year's supply free?

The best part, however, was when the kids came running in and exclaimed

"what happened Mom?"

And I explained that you have to poke a potato with a fork before you put it in the over, or else....

"Why didn't you poke it Mom?"

Hmmmn. I wonder. I can think of 10 reasons why not....

A thought for the new year...

Note to Meagan - DON'T IRON - ever again! You will be so thrilled with the freedom!! :)

Well, today I played hookie. Working from home sounds like such a dream job, but it can be tough. As I stared at the three baskets of clothes and STUFF that were sitting in my bedroom, waiting to be unloaded, I realized that I could not work all day and ignore that mess for another second! I ended up cleaning up only half the stuff, going to lunch with a friend, and visiting my neighbor for several hours! Sometimes I get so overwhelmed that I get nothing done. Does that sound familiar?

Well, my neighbor told me about an idea her blog group is doing. Each member chose one-word that described the type of goals she wanted to work on this year. I have been thinking about this and have come up with my word. It is "moderation", which is the only way I will achieve true balance.

Moderation with my job means I won't work all day, but I will do what I need to do to cover the expenses I need to cover so I won't be stressed about bills.

Moderation with my eating means I will not starve myself but I will also not pig out.

Moderation with my spending means I will budget for my family's needs and for some 'wants'. I will avoid restricting myself so much that I feel deprived, but I will also avoid overspending and buying what I don't need.

What do you ladies think? What would your "word of the year" be?

He hears and answers

In my last post I made mention of a particularly inspiring experience for me. You will recall that I was struggling with the decision to tie my tubes, under the advice of my doctor. But I knew our family was not complete. And so I struggled. One day, late in my pregnancy, I had not felt my baby move all day. By the time Oliver came home from work, I was in a panic. We made our way to the hospital ER. I recall there were hardly any patients there that night. I was admitted, and then a kindly nurse took over my care. She hooked me up to the ultrasound machine, and my worried heart was calmed as I heard the baby's heart beat. I don't recall why, at some point, Oliver stepped out of the room. The nurse serenely asked if we were LDS. I was surprised and answered that we were, and how did she know? She smiled and answered that it was because of my husband's BYU t-shirt. Shoulda known. The man owns works shirts, and BYU tshirts. That's it. Anyhow, I felt this intense calm come over me. She was LDS also. I began to pour out my heart and soul to this woman, a virtual stranger...but not really. She was more like an angel sent to bless my life. I told her my whole story. And then she told me hers. Her story was very similar to mine. Only her ending was different, because she had chosen to go against her doctors advice. She got pregnant again. And became deathly ill. And almost lost the baby. And was on bedrest almost the entire 9 months; while her husband was left to fend for himself and their 4 other children. And then, in quiet tones, she shared with me that while she was not sorry for having another child, she deeply regretted the trials that came upon her family as a result. And in quiet tones, she shared with me the medical reasons why I probably should not have another child. And then, sincerely, told me that truly the decision was between me, Oliver, and Heavenly Father. And that was that. The rest of the evening was uneventful, thankfully. But as I reflect upon that night, I know it was no coincidence. The possibilities of having that particular nurse, with her particular experiences, on that very night....well....we all know that wasn't by chance. I know, even now, that a kind Father in Heaven was answering my pleas, through the voice of another. After my visit with that nurse, I was at peace. She was my answer to prayer. And even though that decision was truly one of the hardest decisions of my life, I am so grateful that I was never alone.

That was then.

Yesterday, we celebrated our son J's 4th birthday. I can't believe our youngest child is 4! He was placed with us just prior to his 2nd birthday. He's now celebrated 3 of his 4 birthdays with us. I still remember the first words he said when he walked into our house the first time. He went straight into the pantry, looked up at all the food and said "I eat!" That was his mantra for his first several months with us. We were amazed at how much his little body could put away.

And so now, I have 10 children, between the ages of 11 and 4. I guess it's time for me to get rid of my post-baby weight. According to Weight Watchers I am 35 lbs over my "target weight". I like to rationalize that with 10 kids, that's really only about 3 lbs overweight for each kid. That's nothing, right? (But shhh.....don't figure out that I only birthed 4, so technically....it's a bit more than that). So yes, one of my New Year's Resolutions is to get rid of that extra pudge around the middle. This is now.

Too bad doing laundry doesn't burn more calories....

One of those days...

Do you ever wake up and realize you are more tired than went you went to sleep the night before? I had one of those days this week. Wake up at 5:00, kids up at 7:00, kids to school at 8:00, at work by 8:30, leave work at 2:45 (amid an onslaught of phone calls), pick up carpool at 3:00, swim lessons at 4:30, soccer practice at 6:30, dinner at 7:45 and right before bed (and I mean right before bed), our toilet overflows. My husband starts to laugh as I start to cry. He asks "what's the big deal?" The tears were coming because I was exhausted and I knew what an overflowing toilet entailed. Towels, laundry, bleaching of the floor, walls, etc. I ended up losing it and my husband had to take over as I sat downstairs (folding laundry). I felt silly thinking "there are so many people out there with a much harder life than mine." But at the same time thinking "when does it get easier?'

In the car today I heard a song called "Sounds Like Life To Me." The lyrics are pretty funny and the song sums it up for me.

I am so grateful to have the job I have. It allows me to be here in the morning with my kids and here in the afternoon when they are done with school. It also demands me to be available by phone (three phones to be exact as there are three companies that need to be answered for) for 12 plus hours a day. It pays well and the owner is kind. I work with good people, my husband being one of them. But if anyone knows how to get rich quick, with no time involved, I would jump all over that opportunity.

Here I go, off to do laundry and iron before this day comes to a close.

Artic Chill!

Today is one of those days when I really feel the weight of 10 kids and a dog. Oliver & I team teach early morning seminary (a scripture class for high school aged kids, which is taught from 6-6:50am). Today was my turn. I dragged my body out of bed at 5am, got ready, and just as I was on my way out the door, received a text message from our school district that school is cancelled today. Why? you may ask. Because in the Dallas area, when it freezes, everything shuts down. So I aroused Oliver, and we frantically started texting & calling everyone to cancel seminary. Because, of course, we follow the school district calendar. No school= No seminary. Last night we faithfully checked weather.com and there was NO indication of our little freeze. But it was confirmed as Oliver stepped outside with our newest addition Cosmo, at 5:45am and did a little plie as he slipped and slided on the back patio. The next hour was spent trying to keep Cosmo quiet (which he wasn't), turning off the kids alarm clocks so they would sleep a little longer (which they didn't), and trying to go back to sleep (which we couldn't) before we had to face the day. Sigh. So here I sit, 2 days after the kids went back to school from their Christmas vacation, pondering how I will survive today without my nap.

And then I remember what brought me to this day. And in gratitude, I remember all of the miracles that have happened over the past 5 years. Late in my final pregnancy, we changed insurances. So I changed doctors. By what I thought was a stroke of luck, our new doctor was a Latter-Day Saint also. We had had the same doctor deliver our 3 previous children while we lived in Utah. At the time of my last pregnancy, we were living in Las Vegas. My first 3 children were born by c-section, and during my first visit with our new doctor, we were discussing my 4th c-section. His words still sting.

"If you were my wife, you would have been done at 3. After this delivery, I won't deliver another baby for you. You shouldn't have more children."

Now, I know what he said was probably true. I had gestational diabetes with my 4th pregnancy. As soon as the doctor mentioned possible health complications for me and the baby if we were to get pregnant again, Oliver's mind was made up. There was no other decision for him. But me? We knew, even then, that our family wasn't complete. Tears come to my eyes even now, when I remember the turmoil of closing my womb forever. The doctor made it sound so flippantly easy.

"I'll just tie your tubes when I deliver the baby. No problem."

No problem. Except I wasn't ready to accept that I wouldn't, that I couldn't, that I shouldn't have more children. My heart ached. I prayed. And I prayed. I pleaded. I wrestled. I tried to convince myself that if God could allow Abraham and Sarah have a baby in their ripe old age, surely He could work the miracle for my womb to carry another baby. But Oliver was adamant. And in my heart of hearts, I knew he was right. Gratefully, Heavenly Father answered my prayers in an unexpected manner. (More on that next time.) So I signed the paperwork for the tubal ligation with fingers of lead. And I looked forward, with faith, to the future. The future, when surely His plan for me would become clear.

And now, back to Arctic Chill with 10 kids and a puppy.

And then there were three

I think I must first warn you that I've never blogged. Never really facebooked. Don't email much outside of work and just learned to text about a year ago. But I am going to give this my best shot.

I've been thinking all week about what to post. I haven't had the struggles with fertility that Shannie Annie has and I certainly haven't ever adopted 6 children (on top of an original 4) like Meredith has. I married at 20 to a great guy and proceeded to have three beautiful children. I think my biggest struggle has been trying to juggle a full time job while still living a "normal" life. I have worked for the same guy since I was 17. My job is the longest relationship I've ever had outside of family and as much as I appreciate having a job, it is very tempting to sit back and imagine a life where we are wealthy enough for me to be a full time parent volunteer in my children's classrooms (but really does that ever happen?). I also serve with the young women's program in our church. I have spent 8 years of my adult life in this program and truly love it.

I have a ten year old son who plays competition soccer. Between spring and fall play, there is futsal, agility training, ,training camps and goalie practices. Then there is scouts. Swim lessons. Tennis lessons. And playing with friends all day and night. I felt awful last week when I heard that his tennis coach had died. My first thought before sending my condolences was, well that's one less thing to do for now. This is a very obedient child. He always gets his homework done early. Does every chore he is asked to do. But I think I baby him. When he was 10 months old he was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. We were so sad. He was in remission within a few years but it was a very hard tim.

My daughter is 6. She is beautiful. She has big brown eyes and dark skin like her dad. She is so artistic. Sometimes I feel like she and I are in competition. My husband will ask how his princess is and he is certainly not talking about me. She has had some learning struggles. She loves her dance classes and is in swim lessons too.

My youngest boy just turned 4. He is a wild child. It seems like he never sleeps. It doesn't matter if he goes to bed at 7:00 or 12:00. He is wide eyed and ready to party at 6:30 every morning. He loves his tumbling classes and swim lessons.

So that's my family and our mundane life in a nutshell. I often think of single mothers and wonder how in the world they do it. I feel like I work full time, drive full time and cook and clean full time. But the blessings are great.

Shanelle and Meredith are great examples to me. When I first moved into their place I was dancing around the kitchen showing off some moves (I was a cheerleader a long time ago) and somehow broke the light in the kitchen. Glass shattered everywhere. I'll never forget that. Good times to remember when my children (while playing football in the house) break one of the fan blades off of the fan.

All about me!

Well, today it's my turn to entertain you, so here goes...

Growing up, I always pictured the future with a handsome husband, four great kids, and a wonderful mother (me!) who took care of everyone and everything with ease.

Fast forward to today - I have a handsome husband and one amazing daughter (after 12+ years of marriage), and I work from home and try to keep order to everything else on the side.

Our struggle with infertility began shortly after we were married. We realized after a year of trying with no success that something was up, and we felt like we were too old to mess around with trying for another three or four years. We went to the first set of doctors who ran a ton of tests, couldn't find any problems, and sent us home to "keep our fingers crossed and keep trying". (Yes, I'm still bitter about that insensitive phrase!)

We went to a new doctor several months later who, with the help of shots, pills, and other treatments, made it possible for us to have our little girl nine years ago. Although the journey was long and difficult, we were so grateful to finally be parents.

Since then, we have continued to hope for more children and have even repeated the same tests (eight times!) that helped us before. Nada. Zip. No more pregnancies. The official diagnosis is "unexplained infertility".

My honey and I have always been open to adoption, so we decided to attempt that when we realized that we may not have any more children of our own. Today, after four failed attempts at adoption, we have decided to do foster care to try to adopt that way.

We are currently training to become foster parents and hope that this is the way we will finally be able to complete our family. I'll keep you posted on all that!

So that's it in a nutshell. Like I mentioned before, I work from home and am grateful to do so. It's been nice to stay home and still be able to contribute to the cause. However, working from home and trying to be a mom at the same time has its challenges. More on that later, too...

Welcome!

Hi! This is me, Meredith. And my "Car-ee-bee-an Mon" Oliver. (He was born in Venezuela but spent a lot of time in Curacao, where his grandma is from....hence, the Caribbean part.) We've been married 12 years and counting. This is us on New Years Eve.

I'm super excited about this blog! Shannie Annie & I have been friends for a looooong time. Meagan & I have been friends even longer.....we're sisters. We've been roommates, confidantes, and friends. We were all married the summer/fall of '97. And then our lives took different paths. That's what this blog is about. We all believe in marriage and families. We all believe in providing the best we can for our families. Sometimes, things don't turn out quite like we planned, or wanted. We hope this blog will provide a forum for discussing life as we know it. Sound cheesy? Maybe. To me, it sounds zany. Because that's what I think of when I think of Shanelle & Meagan. They can make me laugh and make me cry like no other!

So here's my story, in a nutshell. Oliver & I met in the summer of '97. As we sped towards marriage I remember telling Oliver: "I want to name our first son Christian, after my grandpa". He replied: "OK, if I can name our first daughter". Me: "Deal!". And somewhere in there I mentioned "I'd love to be able to adopt someday". He replied "me too". Those were sweet nothings that we never imagined would be fulfilled like they have. For after we had our 4 biological children, we adopted 2 boys in December of 2007. And then a year later, we adopted 4 girls. Bringing our total to 6 girls and 4 boys. That was then.

Did I mention that we adopted again this Christmas? Sigh. Here he is:



His name is Cosmo. Named by my Car-ee-bee-an Mon. Who loves BYU. 'Nuff said.










So this is now. Me, hubby, 10 kids, and a puppy. We've got a few stories to tell.

Stay tuned tomorrow, for Shannie Annie!