Not too busy...

I work for a really good guy. He knows how important my family is to me and is pretty lenient with allowing me to take kids to doctors appointments, going to their school programs, etc. I even bring my four year old to work with me most days so I don't have to leave him at a daycare (which would emotionally kill me).

He does have a few faults though. He is notorious for using the word we. "We need to do this." or "We need to do that." He really means me. But for some reason he wont say "Will you do this?" or "Will you do that?" I don't know why is drives me crazy. But it does.

He also says "if you're not too busy." I hate that one too. Of course I am to0 busy. Last friday, I tried to make it to the bathroom 4 times before I finally gave up and realized I would have to wait until I got home from work. He owns three companies and I answer phones and do all the paperwork for all three. I carry three cell phones so when I am out of the office I can have phones transferred and not miss anything. Even when we are slow in the field, I am swamped in the office. I am always too busy.

On the upside, he is generous. I get to drop my kids off at school each morning and pick them up at the end of each day. I am able to help my husband pay the bills. And somehow, I am able to keep my sanity (not sure how, but I think I am still doing okay).

Anyway, I am obviously in a bit of a rut (I am sure you can tell by my last post) but I have vowed to find something positive to post this week. Stay tuned to see if I can change my attitude. It's up to me. Right?

The awful truth

Sometimes people ask me really stupid questions or make stupid comments and instead of giving them the brutal truth, I sugarcoat the answer.

Here are a few examples.

1. "Why don't you just change your formica countertops out for granite?"
My answer: "Oh we are waiting until we are able to renovate our entire kitchen all at once."
The answer in my head: "Are you an idiot? Don't you think if I had the money, I would?"

2. "Do you enjoy working?
My answer: "It's not so bad. I have a great boss and my hours aren't too bad."
The answer in my head: "Stupid, spoiled rich girl who has everything handed to you on a silver platter. Of course I don't enjoy working. It takes me away from my kids. I am tired all of the time. And it is so mundane. I want to volunteer in my kids classrooms. I want to exercise and take my youngest to the park. Go to lunch with friends and have a fabulous dinner ready when my husband comes home.

3. "I am so excited for spring break. My kids and I need some time off."
My answer: "I am so glad for you. It is nice to change your routine sometimes.
The answer in my head: "Time off? What's that? Working mom's don't get time off. They use their time off for things like school plays, doctor appointments and their children's sick days. When we are sick, we go to work so we dont use our "break time."

So I know I sound a little harsh. And I am the queen of putting my foot in my mouth, but this last week I have thought (quite a few times) does this person realize what they just said and who they said it to?

It's like the 135 pound girl saying to the 248 pound girl "I don't know what to do, I can't lose these last five pounds."

Sometimes as I am talking to people I think, "I would love to kick this person in the teeth right now." Then I realize, their reality is different then mine and I can't judge them for it.

It's just really hard sometimes.